Have we experienced a few minutes when we were sick or in such a state we wished we are back home, at a safe and private zone, where we can unwind, declutter and let it off, whatever that is. Then, allow ourselves to recharge, back to normal.
Imagine we are pilots, or members of a submarine crew; we hit a problem with our situation. We need to rise or back down, to earth. Until we can begin doing that, the uncertainty is the fact that it is uncertain. To put it in another way: we do not know the size of the problem, nor how long we can sustain our reduced capacity state, and we are also not sure what the effect is on us, on others, and on others on us. That last sentence does not make sense because, in most situations, our mind is in a fuzzy state of not doing much, as it is in its reduced-thinking state. Others with similar experience might say, actually, the mind is on overdrive, with many more signals going around, sometimes hitting each other in not very eloquent ways. It means we look in a very bad way, far worse than the situation is.
Words that eventually become audible might be, “Oh, this is so bad”. And our mind might drift to various places and another line becomes audible in our senses: “Am I alive?”
Such a description might be what some who have had major onset of panic attacks, stress explosions or such other “mental health” situations would say about their experience.
- It is not too similar to asking someone who had just hit the ground from a fast descending aeroplane, “How can I help you? You don’t look too good, what’s gone wrong with you?”
- In such a situation, it is not so much that the enquirer was not “sensitive” (or could not ask some relatively relevant questions) but more that the sufferer is incapable of explaining themselves.
- Go one back, their mind is probably in a state of “reduction” (or go slow, go fuzzy, or no go), that their thinking mind is slightly detached from the body.
- In a way, their thinking capacity is much reduced to mere bodily functions (e.g. heartbeat, closing or opening a door).
- And that’s it. It could take some time while we are in that state, but that is the state we should at, to allow our “persons” (mind, body, spirit) to warm up and connect fully; or some specialists are able to intervene to assist us.
This might sound like a new reading material for us. However, way back when, King David wrote that from the bottomest pit of both nothingness and lostness, the only energy left is that he called on God for help. This Psalm 130 starts that way, stays in that zone, and then goes away by remaining at that cliff edge. Much of what David said probably did not sound too intellectually heavy, was probably still a little poetic, but his everything is drained.
How does he address God? What does he ask God about? Take a moment to read this psalm.
How does one “learn” from this psalm? Out of many suggestions, one is this – David’s words and mindset remain with God. The moments of complaints to God, they sound like in the middle of a war zone with extreme pain, bewilderment and rejection. His lowest point is the loss of grip in life and his mind. But in that state, and if we are in a similar situation, our words and mindset will remain with God.
A paraphrase
From the voice I was born with,
it is the only way I can speak.
Hear me, O Lord,
take note of my words, my heart, my mind.
The greatest struggle lies in our sins:
keeping a record of my sins, and everyone you know about, is doom to us all.
But in your offer to forgive us
you open us a door to freedom, but also the capacity to fear: you who forgive us.
Whoever is around who hears me, words, deeds and intention:
Yes, God is who, the only one, I rely on.
The hope, even in making the next step, is totally on his word.
See, I so want to spend time with the Lord like a fish returning to water.
Get that?
Why do I still care for others and the nations in my current situations
I cannot help it, because your saving grace,
your unconditional love surpasses all words and cognitive formulae
My current situation remains; for how long, that’s immaterial,
because the Lord himself will save all of us,
not a vice chair, or a rep, but he himself
to where we are in our crumbled, embattled nothingness.
He saves us.